As promised

Good morning all:)

As promised, I am writing my thoughts from yesterday. I have a few different directions I could go in, but will focus my thoughts on my journey with relationships this morning:)

I don't think I am in alone in trying to figure guys out. Please tell me that it is true!

I have been in a few relationships and have experienced the good side: the love, fun, not being alone, having a friend and setting your status to "in a relationship" or having a ring on your left hand.

The bad side: breaking up, which brings a million questions to mind, like what happened, what went wrong, am I a bad person, being alone, having to announce to the world or just a person that you are "alone" or "not in a relationship", or having a empty left hand. Learning to do things again by yourself. Of course, it is at this time, that you notice ALL couples, they seem to come out of the woodwork when you are "alone".

I wanted to explore the a few angles on this topic.

The first thing I want to talk about is the being alone feeling. Why is it that we feel alone? We have friends, family (for those of you that have that) and God. I think that the alone feeling comes from a few different things. We all want to feel loved, we want the world to know that someone loves us. When you aren't in a relationship, the alone feeling creeps in and plants seeds of negative thoughts, doubt about love, doubt about the male species!

Having recently experienced the hurt, the pain and let down and the scars it leaves, I know the feelings all to well. However, in the last few weeks I have begun to feel differently. I realize I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. I don't need a guy to validate who I am. I am okay by being myself. I am okay to have the whole bed to myself! It has taken me a LONG time to come this understanding.

Right now, some of my life long dreams are coming true. I have prayed all my life for "this" to happen and if I was in a relationship, I could not commit myself wholeheartedly to what I am doing. Some very tough times got me to the place where I am today. The tough things I have had to go through have actually made meet the people I have met. The connections I need to make my dreams come true. And the time to devote to making it a reality!

When I first thought of this, I was kind of in shock. When I was walking through the valley of death, I could never imagine anything good coming out of it. It is only through time & healing that I see God's hand on my life and I am in awe. I am now a true believer in seeing that ALL things work together for the good, for the Glory of God. The things that I have to endure will actually help the world, what more could I ask for?

Do I want to be with someone? Absolutely! Do I want to care for someone, love, cherish, respect, be best friends, be there in times of need, do fun things with, hold hands, share my life with, have a family? Of course, it is my life long prayer.

However, I believe I am now in the waiting stages of finding that guy. I pray daily for whoever "he" might be. And when "he" enters my life, it will happen & just fall into place. I am learning that I am not in control, God is and I have to be patient and wait on Him.

One of my dear friends, wrote me a quick message yesterday: "Hey Sarah, You're pretty terrific, and one of these days a great guy is going to recognize that, and he won't let you goooo". It was a great reminder to me that I don't have to rush into a relationship. I am comfortable in my own skin. Whoever ends up being my life partner will be a very lucky guy! I say that not to be proud, but say it with confidence because the things that I have had to go through made me the person I am today and when "he" is in my life, he won't want to leave.

"He" will be the one I treat with the up most respect and love. I can't wait to love him. I can't wait to show the world that I love him. I can't wait to have a family after God's own heart. I can't wait for a lot of things.

But right now, I can wait. I am in the process of becoming an even better girl, future wife/mother, a women after God's own heart.

I know that my life is in God's hand and out out my control. It is a lesson I am learning.

I hope you enjoyed reading this. Any feedback or thoughts are always welcome! :)