Loss

Sorry it's been a while since I have posted! I have busy working and pursing my dreams.

Yesterday, I took a self defense with Montgomery County & MD State Police. As we were learning the different skills, I had to think about the skills we need for other life survival. We take classes to help us prepare in case we are attacked (God forbid). But how do we prepare our self for when life attacks us?

How do we prepare for LIFE? Do we think about preparing ourselves or are we just waiting to be lunch for our attacker? Do we think that if we don't think about "it" it will never happen to us? How does life attack us? Many different ways.... It could be loss. And I will focus on this, as I am dealing with loss right now.

Loss is many different things, it could be the loss of a job, it could be the loss of your health, the loss of friends, the loss of family, the loss of a dream, the loss of something you wanted, then had to let it go. It could be a simple loss, like an iPod, or a cell phone quiting

How do I prepare myself for when life comes at me full speed, threatening to take me down? I thought about it and came up with a few things.

Prepare yourself by having a strong support of friends. Ones who
Expect that something will happen.
Go with the flow.
When something happens, breathe in, breathe out.
Know that God has a plan, no mater if I understand it or not.
Write. Blogging helps.
Dream of a day when life will be better:)

I would love to hear your thoughts? Comment or email me! :)

Peace~

One more thing

One of the reasons I am content in life right is that one of my life long prayers was to have a REAL family. For those of you who know me, you know my sad family story. I now am part of a family who loves, is excited for me, who cares for me and is there for me and no judging!!!

I am so very blessed to be with them, thank you J, L, R and C:) You are my dream come true. I thank god every day for you. I love you guys!!!

I would be remiss not to mention my other friends.....I have so many to be thankful for. M, you were there for me when no one else was. A, R, H, K, you have been my support, my backbone and watched out for me for a while now.

I don't have time to list all of my TRUE friends, but know that I love you and appreciate you so very much!! I could not be where I am today if it were not for you.

I am very thankful and feel very blessed....

As promised

Good morning all:)

As promised, I am writing my thoughts from yesterday. I have a few different directions I could go in, but will focus my thoughts on my journey with relationships this morning:)

I don't think I am in alone in trying to figure guys out. Please tell me that it is true!

I have been in a few relationships and have experienced the good side: the love, fun, not being alone, having a friend and setting your status to "in a relationship" or having a ring on your left hand.

The bad side: breaking up, which brings a million questions to mind, like what happened, what went wrong, am I a bad person, being alone, having to announce to the world or just a person that you are "alone" or "not in a relationship", or having a empty left hand. Learning to do things again by yourself. Of course, it is at this time, that you notice ALL couples, they seem to come out of the woodwork when you are "alone".

I wanted to explore the a few angles on this topic.

The first thing I want to talk about is the being alone feeling. Why is it that we feel alone? We have friends, family (for those of you that have that) and God. I think that the alone feeling comes from a few different things. We all want to feel loved, we want the world to know that someone loves us. When you aren't in a relationship, the alone feeling creeps in and plants seeds of negative thoughts, doubt about love, doubt about the male species!

Having recently experienced the hurt, the pain and let down and the scars it leaves, I know the feelings all to well. However, in the last few weeks I have begun to feel differently. I realize I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. I don't need a guy to validate who I am. I am okay by being myself. I am okay to have the whole bed to myself! It has taken me a LONG time to come this understanding.

Right now, some of my life long dreams are coming true. I have prayed all my life for "this" to happen and if I was in a relationship, I could not commit myself wholeheartedly to what I am doing. Some very tough times got me to the place where I am today. The tough things I have had to go through have actually made meet the people I have met. The connections I need to make my dreams come true. And the time to devote to making it a reality!

When I first thought of this, I was kind of in shock. When I was walking through the valley of death, I could never imagine anything good coming out of it. It is only through time & healing that I see God's hand on my life and I am in awe. I am now a true believer in seeing that ALL things work together for the good, for the Glory of God. The things that I have to endure will actually help the world, what more could I ask for?

Do I want to be with someone? Absolutely! Do I want to care for someone, love, cherish, respect, be best friends, be there in times of need, do fun things with, hold hands, share my life with, have a family? Of course, it is my life long prayer.

However, I believe I am now in the waiting stages of finding that guy. I pray daily for whoever "he" might be. And when "he" enters my life, it will happen & just fall into place. I am learning that I am not in control, God is and I have to be patient and wait on Him.

One of my dear friends, wrote me a quick message yesterday: "Hey Sarah, You're pretty terrific, and one of these days a great guy is going to recognize that, and he won't let you goooo". It was a great reminder to me that I don't have to rush into a relationship. I am comfortable in my own skin. Whoever ends up being my life partner will be a very lucky guy! I say that not to be proud, but say it with confidence because the things that I have had to go through made me the person I am today and when "he" is in my life, he won't want to leave.

"He" will be the one I treat with the up most respect and love. I can't wait to love him. I can't wait to show the world that I love him. I can't wait to have a family after God's own heart. I can't wait for a lot of things.

But right now, I can wait. I am in the process of becoming an even better girl, future wife/mother, a women after God's own heart.

I know that my life is in God's hand and out out my control. It is a lesson I am learning.

I hope you enjoyed reading this. Any feedback or thoughts are always welcome! :)

new post coming

I have so many thoughts to write, but really must get some sleep tonight, so I will write in the morning:)

for me to remember

I read this verse this morning & it reminded me to LEAN on God and not my own. It is a lesson in progress!

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

Have a great day! :)

Thoughts

It is WAY past my bedtime and I have to get up in a few hours, but wanted to get in a quick blog. It's been on my heart for a long time.....

I have had the chance to do a lot of thinking and if you know me at, you know that I am a pretty deep thinker:)

I have been around Christians all of my life. I have seen the good, the bad, the ugly, the cult, the judgemental attitude, the "I am better then you", the "I am going to heaven & you are going to hell", the ones who lead one life style @ church, another in real life and those who have been so turned off by Christians that they abandon their faith all together. Why is this?

Why can't we as Christians come together as ONE and not fight against each other? Why do we think we are God who has put us here on earth to judge another soul? God came to save us from our sin. If we were perfect, there would be no need for God. Sin will happen, it is just human nature. That is why we have God, that is why He came and died for us. I find it fascinating that those of us that call ourselves Christians are usually the first to criticize, to leave the one in need "stranded", the first to judge, the last to love unconditionally, the last to accept the person for who they are, for how God sees them. Matthew 22:34-38 hits the nail on the head.

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?". Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.''

We are ALL here on earth to serve and help others, not for the world to serve us. We are not here on the earth to judge, all though it may be easy to. We are not to tell who gets into heaven or not- that is God's job. I am very thankful that I am not God!

More to my thoughts about this, but I have been up going on 21 hours and need at least some sleep:)

My marathon recap

Today, I ran the Richmond Marathon.....and here is my long recap-enjoy!

For those of you that know me, know that I am a runner, have been battling injuries on & off for over two years now. I have some awesome races, PR's and won age groups. Those of you know me really, really well, know that the last 5 months have been a test of my faith, my life, my health, my well-being, my strength in God and the courage to go on.

So, this year I helped co-coach the Montgomery Country Road Runners Club FTM program (First Time Marathon). I loved coaching and helping the pace group I was with. July 27, 2008 I ran a very HILLY half marathon in 1:43! I pretty excited and happy about that time:)

The very next week, life turned a corner for me and running & coaching took a back seat. Enough said!

I ran a half marathon September 14, 2008 and finished, but it was tough for a few reasons.

The next month & half was spent getting a business off the ground, some personal healing and workouts. I was still scheduled to run the Marine Corps Marathon the end of October, but I was having EXTREME IT band problems. I went to m sports doctor and was told that I could need surgery and to defer MCM till 2009. I was bummed, but knew that it was the right choice.

So the last few weeks I have been thinking about running a marathon. Philly filled up, so that was out, but Richmond had a openings. I signed up for it a week ago! Got a hotel room and spent the last 6 days working hard and not even thinking about the race! Whatever was going to happen, would. I was secretly hoping to run a 3:40-a Boston qualifier.

Friday morning, I packed and my iPod went out of commission! Perfect timing! I had a 10am meeting downtown, then came back and picked up my really good friend, Eddie and we left Gaithersburg around 1:15pm. We had to make a supposedly quick stop at the dealership for my car and that took 2 1/2 hours! It was their mistake to begin with and we were both frustrated to say the least. We left Chantilly, VA a@ 3:50pm. For those of you who know 95, know that it is a horrible road. Traffic sits there, no joke. So, we took the "back" way as long as we could. When we got to 95S, traffic was still bad. When you put together Friday+rain+5pm time=SITTING!!! It was a little madding to say the least! It took about 4 hours when it should have taken 2!

We finally made to the expo and I picked up my packet. Then on to the hotel. As we were checking in, we were informed that the forecast was high winds and heavy rain!! What a treat:) LOL!! We were both exhausted, so we ordered room service and I crashed into bed around 9:30pm.

I got up at 5am. After my breakfast, we left for the race. The weather was actually kind of muggy, humid & around 60 degrees. I got into my coral and the race started @ 8am! I was off running and it felt great to run. I had Eddie's iPod to use (thanks babe:)) so that was great. (BTW, I am sure I am going to make my anti iPod running friends upset, sorry in advance:)).

I felt pretty good and was on track for a 3:40 finish when the unexpected happened. My legs, feet and quads CRAMPED!!! I have never had this issue before so I was kind of taken by surprise to say the least. I was forced to walk. I can not describe the pain and the feelings that were going through my body. It was very strange to say the least. My foot cramped so bad, it actually picked up off the ground! It was weird and hurt like hell!!! I continued my walk/jog/running as much as I could, but when I realised that I was not going to make my goal, I tried to settle into my "pace", listen to the music, pray and take in the route.

At mile 17 I finally saw Eddie and it was so great to see a friend! I was off my time goal and he knew that something was wrong. I told him what had happened and he encouraged me on....thanks again dear:) I gave him my hat (it was no longer cold, it was sunny, humid and warm!!!)

Soon after that, I fell right into a trash can and I laughed! It was kind of funny. When you cramp, you have NO control what happens to you!!! I took a salt tablet and had a few bananas, but to no avail:(

So, I continued on, listening to music-some very good words on some of the songs. I also kept quoting a few verses:

"Psalm 23:4, As I walk through the Valley of Death I will fear no evil, for thou are with me. Thy rod and staff comfort me."

Isaiah 41:10"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Quiting was never an option. As the miles got higher, the pain was also increasing. My time goal was WAY out of even trying to make. I trudged on and pulled deep inside me and found the courage & strength to endure.

I saw Eddie again at mile 23 and it was so good to see him! I gave him my jacket (had that already off around mile 2, but it had my iPod in it, so had it wrapped around my waist. He hobbled with me for a few minutes and then I said I would see him at the finish.

I rounded the corner and a older guy came up and blocked the wind for me-it was VERY windy! I tucked in behind him and another lady joined us. I tried to run, but just could not stay at that pace for very long! So, I stopped and walked and walked, then jogged, then ran, then walked....I think you get the idea:)

Mile 24 was just ahead. I kept telling myself to stay strong, you can do this, you haven't trained so be easy on your self, etc. Yea, right, I like to set high goals and achieve them. Today I learned that I can have goals, they just may need to modified.

The last 2 miles were tough. I finally saw the finish line and picked up my hobble. I am sure I looked hilarious!

I finally crossed the line at 5 hours, 2 minutes. My worst time for a marathon (Marine Corps 05 was 4:07, Chicago 06 was 3:50), but I had not run in weeks, yadda, yadda and I finished. I was SO happy to get that medal placed around my neck. It means so much to me, probably even more then all of my other medals I have.

This medal was the symbol of so many different things to me-the pride of finishing, having been through "hell" the last couple of months (well, really my whole life to be honest) the joy that I did not train, but had the courage to start, the will to stay focused and the strength to finish, no matter my time. I don't care that I did not qualify for Boston, there will be plenty of more marathons to run and time for me to train properly.

After passing through the food tent, Eddie and I walked about another mile+ to our car. It was good to keep moving, but it was a very slow move!! LOL. Made it back to the hotel where I quickly got a shower and we checked out. I crashed in the truck while he drove. So very thankful for his support and being with me. You rock! :)

I took a ice bath for my lower legs and it helped some...going down/up stairs is still an issue, but that is normal.

I feel great waist up except for a bruised back which I have no idea how that happened!

The race course was challenging, some hills, the wind factor and the crowd support was pretty good. The wet wash cloths and food along the way were great....would I run this course again, YES!!!

So, that is my story! I have now done 3 marathons:) YEA!!!

And I am off to sleep....hope you enjoyed the saga:)

Drop me a line if you have any questions or leave a comment!

Thank you to all of you who prayed for me today and who have been there for me over the past few months. I could not be where I am today if it were not for you. I am truly grateful to all of you and you should know if you are one of them:)

Peace!

This past week

This past week has been a very exciting and crazy week. I will try to recap a few things for your reading pleasure:)

First, Sunday morning at church, Pastor Dale mentioned that he had a vision at the previous night's service of someone with a scared heart. He said the scar could be very deep, bleeding a lot, or not healing. I was in shock. For those of you that know me, I have gone through some VERY tough times and his vision could not have been more dead on. I was glad I went to church! The message that morning was about overcoming life challenges. We are to manage life expectations. This can be hard for me, I have a plan on what I think should happen. But I have to realize that God has the best plan then I could ever dream of. We should expect the following: life to be challenging, painful, daily & mundane, problems to arise, Spiritual battles & attacks, people to be human, God to be available and Heaven glorious & perfect.

One comment that he mentioned is that even though you may be having tough times it does NOT mean that God is displeased with you.

We are to see challenges as opportunities for God to display His grace & power. Several great Bible verses for this thought (1John 5:4, Rev 3:12).

Life challenges will:
devour us
destroy us
develop us.

We need to draw on the right resources and trust in God's grace.

It was a great message and my blog is not doing it justice, but it gave me hope and encouragement and I hope it does the same for you!

Peace~

helping a stranger

I have not posted in a while....but wanted to share this with you. It made me stop and think about the little things in life. And also reminded me of my daily goal, to be a blessing to someone, whether I know it or not!

So I am driving to my next client & its raining and I see a bike & an older man on the side of the road...I pull over and ask if he needs help....he has a flat. So I offer to take him home. We load the bike in my truck and I "met" Dr. Gunther! We had a great chat as we drove to his home....his wife was so happy!
This is what life is all about...it made my day that I could help someone! Thank you Lord for putting me in the right place at the right time! I am so happy that You had me drive by at the right time...yea!!!

You never know the places God will put you. It shows me to trust in Him and go with the flow so that I may be a blessing to others.

~peace always~